


Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

by dragonsandgayships



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Cats, First Meetings, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, Humor, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsandgayships/pseuds/dragonsandgayships
Summary: "You want to get this over with, don't you? Just take off your damn coat.""I've had similar things said to me in far more enjoyable situations," Sparkly Eyes mutters. "I will swear to you that I don't have anything else under my coat. Just let me in to see Agent Lightwood.""Oh, for the love of— Look," Alec says frustratedly, standing up and leaning towards Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes across the desk. "I can let you through, and Isabelle will tell you to take of your coat in there, and trust me, if you are hiding anything, she will judo-flip you and then take whatever weapon you have along with a few of your fingers. Or you can take it off now and stop wasting both of our times, and keep all your fingers. Your choice."After a few seconds of a short but heated staring contest, Sparkly Eyes gives in. "Fine," he says, strangely seeming to be fighting with what Alec could swear are the beginnings of a smile. "Have it your way, then."A oneshot, based partly on a Tumblr post I saw and partly on my own love of cats and Malec. Details are compliant with the book canon, but can be read from show perspective just as well too.





	Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

**Author's Note:**

> So I just saw Captain Marvel yesterday and immediately fell in love with Goose (gotta love it when alien cat rep is so on point..) and finally felt the need to write this random oneshot that had been floating around in my head for a while. 
> 
> To be honest I don't even really know what this is, but if anyone who reads this (assuming anyone reads it at all) has more motivation and creativity than me and feels like writing a spin-off, I'd be fine with it... no pressure, though.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Alec doesn't immediately notice the entrance of the stranger on a Friday night because he is busy being engaged in a semi-heated discussion with Simon Lewis.

"Nope, that's it, I refuse to listen to anyone who actually thinks that Loki is hotter than Thor. This discussion is over," Simon says, spinning himself halfway around in his swivel chair next to Alec for emphasis. "Clearly you have no logical taste." They're both sitting behind the desk of the the current main headquarters of the New York branch of the Clave, doing nothing and eating Chinese takeout, and Alec takes a moment to briefly wonder how he got stuck sitting with their newest member and how they ended up having this conversation. He can only conclude that either the Clave has retrograded to the point that there is absolutely nothing for Simon to be doing, which is honestly pretty probable, or that Simon does in fact have something to be doing but has chosen to disregard it because he would prefer to sit with Alec at the desk and talk Marvel, which is more probable.

Simon has been with the Clave for about nine months now, but Alec still thinks of him as _the newbie_. Partly because he is the most recent recruit they've gotten, and partly because he still seems nothing like a member of an organization of secret agents, even after three quarters of a year as an official initiate, and that after a year of training. He seems more like the kind of person who would watch movies about the members of an organization of secret agents with his fellow nerd friends on a couch in someone's basement. He's somehow managed to retain the feeling of harmless normalness that he's exuded ever since Alec and Isabelle first met him and his best friend, Clary, almost two years ago. Even though Alec technically knows that Simon is as nearly as capable as Clary, and maybe half as capable as Alec, Izzy, and Jace, he still has to remind himself of the fact. Clary has acclimated to the lifestyle much more naturally; she looks just as much a Clave member now as anyone else that Alec has ever known. But Simon still just looks like a nerdy kid with dumb T-shirt quotes and glasses to him.

"First of all, Loki is _definitely_ hotter than Thor. His personality is like ten times more interesting, which makes him more attractive by default," Alec replies, gesturing with his fork as he lectures. "Second of all, don't you think that I'm probably more credible in this area of expertise in general?"

"Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I can't comment on Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston's objective hotness," Simon says in a mildly offended tone. "You don't get to monopolize the judgement of hot male celebrities."

"Let me exercise my newfound power, Simon. I've only been able to enjoy my superior judgement skills for a few months," Alec replies mildly. He only came out a little while ago, but has quickly discovered an unforseen bonus of the experience is that the perceived validity of his opinion when discussing men's attractiveness has suddenly skyrocketed. Not that he goes around talking about cute guys with every person he meets, but in the few conversations in that vein that he has been a part of, usually with Izzy, his input has been much more greatly appreciated.

He shifts his attention from Simon to the door, only half paying attention to whatever the other man says in response. Unlike his sort-of-not-friend, he actually has a job tonight. Not a very interesting or important job, granted, but he does need to stay relatively alert. There's supposed to be someone coming in to meet with Izzy tonight, and Alec needs to stay to check them over and confiscate any weapons they might have on them before they're let in to see her. Isabelle might be fully capable of handling anyone, armed or unarmed, by herself, but it's standard protocol, and besides, Alec wouldn't let anyone with hostile intentions get close to his little sister regardless of whether or not she can knock out several grown adults without help.

He listens to Simon continue on for a few minutes without really caring what's being said, interluding with his own thoughts now and again and allowing himself to stop running his mind for once and to just think of nothing in particular for a while. It's nice and effortless in the way mindless interactions can be late at night after most people have gone home, and for some reason idly talking with someone he doesn't hate about nothing important feels like the perfect way to wind down before a weekend, so he lets it be and just lets Simon take the lead in the conversation, following along as he finishes his food.

It's probably because of his semi-relaxed state that he doesn't immediately notice the man who has just entered coming towards them. It only takes him a second after the stranger walks through the automatic sliding doors to their right to register his sudden appearance, though, because the sharp retort of decisive footsteps on marble flooring rings out as soon as he steps inside, breaking through the words of their conversation and effectively silencing both Simon and Alec.

Alec looks up— and  _holy crap_. Because if ever there was a time to abuse the ability of fully appreciating hot guys, this is it. The man walking towards them is stunning, for lack of better words, and he carries himself like he knows it.

The first thing that Alec notices are his eyes— golden-green irises surrounded by thick eyeliner and glittering dark blue eyeshadow that stare knowingly out of a face that still holds the vitality of youth but seems to lack most of its hopeless naïvety. Full lips painted midnight lie comfortably in a confident smirk, and silky raven's-wing hair is tied back from high cheekbones by some sort of woven leather cord. Alec finds himself absently wondering exactly how soft it would feel if he ran his fingers through it.

It takes him a few seconds to tear his gaze away from the man's face in order to notice his clothes, which are just as distracting and striking as the rest of him. He wears a dark billowing coat that swirls dramatically around his legs as he walks, but under that is a cropped black T-shirt that reads "Yes Homo" in sparkly silver letters and reveals a strip of smooth brown skin around his midriff, which proves even more difficult for Alec to look away from. Below the shirt are ripped skinny jeans paired with a silver chain belt and combat boots of the same color. Several long, single-strand necklaces along with a choker and dangling earrings that look like daggers complete the overall appearance of a lost ethereal being dropped out of the sky onto earth by mistake. He's tall, too, probably taller than Alec, if he were to guess, which is impressive considering that the Clave agent is six feet tall. Alec is half-convinced he's hallucinating. The man in front of him looks like he belongs in a storybook about the fey, not in the fluorescently-lit side entrance of an old museum in New York City.

He could swear that the man's smile increases infinitesimally and he adds a slight sway to his step when he catches Alec staring.

In one of the greatest displays of self-control in what is probably his entire life, Alec manages to keep his expression neutral as the man reaches the front desk and stops in front of them, looking up slowly in what he hopes comes across as a bored, unaffected manner. Out of his peripheral vision, he thinks he can see Simon blinking rapidly as if he, too, needs confirmation that his eyes are not conjuring up a very elaborate illusion.

"Oh, the first Avengers movie was hands down the best," Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man says casually, as if it's normal to silence everyone in a room just by walking in (even if there are only two people talking, but whatever) and then just insert yourself into the conversation like you weren't the one who stopped it in the first place. His voice is low and smooth, sultry, almost. "Even if Hawkeye is pointless. The original team is better, the music is better, and the plot isn't the greatest, but it isn't nearly as bad as some of the others. Plus it has the hottest villain."

Alec spares a glance toward Simon that clearly conveys  _I told you so_ before turning back to their visitor, whose ringed hand is now splayed on the desk, leaning there casually, looking completely at ease. His nails are immaculate and painted the same shimmering shade of blue as his eye makeup. "Can we help you?" Alec asks, and silently commends himself on the fact that his voice doesn't waver.

"Hopefully. I'm here to see Isabelle Lightwood, if I've gotten the location right," Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man replies. "Is there anyone here who goes by that name?"

"Yes, she's my sister," Alec answers, and then mentally kicks himself for revealing that fact to a random stranger without thinking. "Is she expecting you?" He kicks himself again for sounding so formal. He and his friend-who's-really-more-of-an-amicable-acquaintance are sitting eating Chinese together in bad lighting talking about superheroes, Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man can obviously clearly see that this isn't an episode of Downton Abbey. (Alec only knows that show because Jace used to be weirdly obsessed with it. He still isn't sure why, and he's not sure Jace is either.)

"Well, I hope so, or this could get awkward." Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man grins at him slightly before continuing. "I was given an official message from the Clave asking if I could come speak with their local representative to exchange information, and really, who am I to refuse to such a missive. So if you could just tell me where to find her, I'll get out of your hair and get this over with." The way his tongue curls around the phrase "official message" carries only the barest hint of mockery, but his wry smile remains fixed in place.

"She's right through there," Alec starts, pointing to the double doors directly across the room from the desk, and Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man begins to turn and walk towards them before Alec's hand darts out and grabs ahold of his wrist, stopping him. The touch sends a thrill up his arm, but he ignores it. "But you have to leave any and all weapons here before you go in," he finishes, looking up at the stranger, who cocks his head and sighs.

"Surely the great Isabelle Lightwood, agent of the Clave, is fully capable of handling one man on her own, on her home turf?" he asks, rolling his eyes slightly.

Alec almost points out that this is far from their home turf, that usually Clave facilities are ten times more secure than this and that this is only a temporary situation that everyone is still acclimating to, but he stops himself just in time. All he says is, "Your weapons," meeting the man's challenging gaze with an equally intense one of his own.

Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man sighs again. "And what if I'm not armed?"

"You just entered a building filled with well-trained professionals, almost all of whom can kill a fully-grown adult with nothing but their bare hands and disarm several more in a fight without breaking a sweat, and you were asked to come here by the same organization that was responsible for the training of all those people, which would heavily suggest that you know a few things about situations in which fights to the death are common, yourself. I'd be willing to bet that you're more than familiar with the Downworld and the Clave's interactions with it. You'd be an idiot not to be armed. And besides, I can see at least four that you have concealed right now."

"And here I was thinking that this was a diplomatic meeting," Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man says. "But apparently the Clave still can't go longer than the first minute without pulling out their intimidation techniques."

Alec continues to stare at him, not breaking eye contact.

"Well if you would be so kind as to remove your hand from my wrist, I could begin disarming myself, darling," the stranger says, tilting his head to indicate where Alec's hand is still grasping his arm.

Alec withdraws his hand with a start, only now realizing that it had still been clasped around Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man's wrist. Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man smirks at him.

At first, it's standard— a couple daggers pulled from his boots, a handgun from somewhere under his coat (Alec has no idea how he managed to hide it that well, with his pants being as tight as they are), another knife removed from between his shoulder blades— but then it keeps getting more and more bizarre. Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man keeps pulling weapons from increasingly unlikely places, a small pile quickly growing on the desk, as Simon and Alec look on in astonishment. He unties his weird hair-cord thing to reveal a thin spiked chain sewn skillfully onto the back, and Alec most definitely does not watch a little too closely when he shakes out his newly-freed hair. He's clearly enjoying it, too, grinning as he watches their slack-jawed faces every time he removes another weapon from his person.

" _How_?" Simon whispers to Alec, who shakes his head slowly in bemusement.

When Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man finally stops, there's a varied collection of weaponry sitting on the desk, about enough to reasonably equip four people, Alec guesses. "Done," he says, still grinning at their expressions. "Is that good enough for you?"

Simon is still staring with a slightly dazed expression, but Alec is able to gather himself enough to school his face into cool indifference. "I said  _all_ your weapons."

With an exasperated look, Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man takes a small pistol from somewhere in his clothes and lays it on the desk along with the other instruments. "Now?"

"Take off your belt and your necklaces, too."

Sparkly Eyes raises an eyebrow. "Well, that's forward. Usually it takes until the second of third date for someone to beg me to start taking my clothes off."

Alec manages to keep his expression mostly neutral, but he can't stop the sudden rush of blood to his face. "Just do it."

Sparkly Eyes rolls his eyes but acquiesces, unclipping his belt and placing it on the desk on top of everything else before taking off his necklaces, including the choker, which Alec sort of hates to see go. Purely aesthetically speaking, of course.

 "You know what, just take off all your jewelry and your coat," he decides as he  begins to consider all the ways that someone this resourceful could possibly utilize his accessories.

"After I took all that time to get ready? No," Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man responds, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. "You'll just have to trust that your sister can handle it if I decide to attack her."

"Dude, you already took off all your other stuff," Simon points out. "It's not like taking off a few more things will make that big of a difference."

"Besides, Isabelle isn't meeting with you to critique your wardrobe choices," Alec adds, although thinking about it, he's pretty sure his sister would actually be thrilled with this guy's fashion sense. He wouldn't be surprised if she spends half of their meeting talking with him about clothes.

"Fine," Sparkly Eyes says in a voice that's a little tighter than it was before. "You don't take your job lightly, do you?" he asks Alec as he removes his rings one at a time.

"More like I have nothing else to do with my life, so I got good at my job," Alec replies, and then wonders why on earth he just said that.

Sparkly Eyes doesn't respond, though, just raises an eyebrow again as he slowly unclips his earrings.

"That's the last of it," he says rather wistfully as he finishes with his jewelry. "Satisfied?"

"Your coat."

"I can't," Sparkly Eyes says in reply, and it's Alec's turn to raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"And I can't let you in if you don't."

Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man shakes his head. "Sorry, but no. The coat is the one part that's nonnegotiable."

"Oh, please," Alec says. "The building is heated; it's not like you're going to get cold." It's true. The building seems to have one of those old radiator systems that heats the place to near boiling during the winter, and besides, judging from the rest of Sparkly Eyes's outfit, retaining heat doesn't really look like it was big concern for him in the first place, especially considering that his coat wasn't even closed when he came in.

"Like I said before. Maybe just trust your sister to take care of herself."

"Or I could be a good older brother and not make her have to worry about it. You want to get this over with, don't you? Just take off your damn coat."

"I've had similar things said to me in far more enjoyable situations," Sparkly Eyes mutters. "I will swear to you that I don't have anything else under my coat. Just let me in to see Agent Lightwood."

"Oh, for the love of— Look," Alec says frustratedly, standing up and leaning towards Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes across the desk. "I can let you through, and Isabelle will tell you to take of your coat in there, and trust me, if you _are_  hiding anything, she will judo-flip you and then take whatever weapon you have along with a few of your fingers. Or you can take it off now and stop wasting both of our times, and keep all your fingers. Your choice."

After a few seconds of a short but heated staring contest, Sparkly Eyes gives in. "Fine," he says, strangely seeming to be fighting with what Alec could swear are the beginnings of a smile. "Have it your way, then."

And then he promptly takes two kittens out of his coat and places them gently on the desktop.

Alec just stares. Simon looks about ready to fall off his chair.

"You better take good care of them, or I promise I _will_ find you and cover every single surface in your houses in a fine layer of glitter," Sparkly Eyes warns as he slips his coat off his shoulders. "And know that that is not an empty threat. I am fully capable of doing that and worse."

Not knowing how to even begin responding, Alec just nods mutely.

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet with the head of the New York Conclave." And with that, Gorgeous Sparkly Eyes Man drapes his coat on the edge of the desk and walks off towards the double doors, his hips swaying in a way that Alec isn't quite stupefied enough not to notice.

As the doors close with a bang, Simon makes a small strangled noise in the back of his throat.

"So correct me if I'm wrong, but did he just put two cats on your desk?"

Alec nods again. "Uh huh." The two cats in question are currently nosing around each other on the desktop, sniffing at Alec's computer and the various weapons that Sparkly Eyes has left there. They're both tabby; one a light gray and more fluff than cat, and the other brown striped with white socks, nose, and belly. Neither of them can be any older than a few weeks.

"Unless I missed a class, they did not cover this in basic training," Simon says.

"Nope."

"Should we maybe get the tiny adorable baby mammals away from the instruments of murder before they hurt themselves?" Simon suggests.

Breaking out of his stupor, Alec clears his throat. "Um. Yeah, we should probably do that. Any ideas for where to put them?"

Simon starts to shake his head, but then stops mid-shake. "Instead of moving the cats, could we like, put the stuff in your filing cabinet?"

Alec looks at him. "You want to put, quote, 'instruments of murder' into my filing cabinet?"

"...Yes?" Simon answers.

"How do you know my filing cabinet isn't full?"

"Alec," Simon says with a small snort, "I don't claim to be your best friend or anything, but even I know you hate paperwork. You would probably sleep on top of paperwork to avoid doing it. That's why I get so much; I have to do all of yours too."

Alec glares at him.

"Oh, come on," Simon protests. "Unless any of those rings are secretly concealed bombs, which I highly doubt, there isn't really any reason  _not_ to put them in a filing cabinet, right? I doubt Tall Dark And Glittery will really mind that much, so long as we don't lose anything. I'm sure he'd still say yes if you asked him out, anyway."

"I— what— no, where did you even—" Alec sputters as Simon looks at him, unimpressed.

"Okay, really? You were practically drooling. Do you honestly thing I'm dense enough not to notice?" Simon asks, giving Alec a look that is more than a little judgmental. "And he was into you, too, I could tell."

Alec is still gaping in indignation.

"It's like I said," Simon says. "I'm straight, not blind. Just ask him out when he gets out of whatever meeting he has with Iz. You need something to do with your life, anyway."

Choosing to ignore Simon's previous statements, Alec turns away in his swivel chair. "Whatever. What do you think we should do with the cats until then?"

 

***

 

When Magnus finally exits Isabelle Lightwood's makeshift office at half past nine, all he really wants is to take a long hot shower and curl up on the couch with his cats to browse Netflix. Although the meeting had gone far better than he was expecting and Isabelle had proved to be a perfectly charming person who he wouldn't mind spending time with outside of a professional setting, it had dragged on longer than either of them had expected, and by now he is more than ready to go home. What he sees once he steps outside the doors, though, makes him draw up short.

In the time that he's been gone, it appears that the gorgeous, blue-eyed man at the front desk and his friend with the glasses have amassed a small gathering of what Magnus can only assume are other Clave agents around them, all cooing and trying to get the attention of his kittens, who are at the center of it all and appear to be having the time of their lives. Someone has gotten a blanket and they're curled at the center of it, being petted from all sides while a few people try to push pieces of tuna towards them to get them to eat. There's an open can next to Glasses Man's elbow.

Magnus isn't sure whether or not to laugh, but he gets distracted from his deliberation when Gorgeous Sullen Blue Eyes Man gently picks up the brown tabby and holds her in his arms, scratching her belly as she stretches comfortably and yawns. And Magnus knows logically that he should be at least a little pissed off at all these strangers touching his kittens without his permission, but, well, there's something about hot guys and adorable baby animals cuddled in muscular forearms that makes him think his expression might be softer than it should be.

Tamping down his smile, Magnus clears his throat loudly enough for everyone at the desk to look up and walks purposefully over, not allowing his face to give away any of his thoughts.

"As much as you all seem to be enjoying yourselves, I'm afraid I need my cats back now," he says, pushing past a couple people to stand in front of Gorgeous Sullen Blue Eyes Man. "And my weapons, too. Though it seems you've taken those already," he adds, glancing down at the desk where his sizable arsenal had been before he left.

"Oh, we put that in the filing cabinet, one sec," Glasses says before ducking under the desk and pulling open a metal drawer, by the sound of it.

"You put my very expensive weapons, some of which nearly cost me more than my entire wardrobe, into a filing cabinet under your  _desk_?" Magnus asks incredulously, staring at the group of people standing behind said desk, some of whom have backed away at his appearance, seeming slightly intimidated by his expression. He smirks internally. _Good._

"You brought your most expensive weapons to a meeting where you weren't supposed to do anything but exchange information?" counters Blue Eyes, who is still holding Magnus's kitten.

"Oh, darling, please. Those are far from the most expensive weapons I own," Magnus says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "You should see the  _really_ valuable ones. I don't doubt they could put most of yours to shame."

Gorgeous Sullen Blue Eyes Man rolls his eyes and says nothing, going back to his scratching of Catarina's stomach. (Yes, Magnus had named his two newest cats after his two best friends, much to Ragnor's chagrin. He has absolutely no regrets.)

"So there's the last of your weapons," Glasses says, coming up from under the desk and depositing the last of Magnus's knives in front of him. "Let me just get your jewelry and stuff..." He ventures back under, disappearing from view once again.

"So," Magnus says, to fill the awkward silence that has permeated the air. Unfortunately, he hasn't thought very far beyond that, so he just trails off, not knowing what else to say.

Luckily, Gorgeous Sullen Blue Eyes Man comes to his rescue. "Do you usually tie your hair back with barbed wire?" he asks conversationally, glancing up at Magnus from under raised eyebrows, and really, he's  _unfairly_ attractive. In a normal scenario, Magnus would probably be able to smile charmingly and engage in some flirtatious banter, but tonight he's just a little too tired and a little too unprepared to deal with a room of Clave Agents to respond smoothly, so instead he settles for letting Blue Eyes's prettiness annoy him.

"No, only when huge extensive secret agencies call me in at their own discretion to give them information on a Friday nights, when I could otherwise be out somewhere enjoying myself by doing anything else," he responds a little snappishly.

"And what else do you have do be doing at the start of the weekend that is so much more incredibly, urgently enjoyable?" Blue Eyes asks challengingly.

Magnus pauses a moment, making a split-second decision before responding. "Can you play pool?"

"Yes," answers the other man carefully, looking slightly bemused. "Why—"

"Meet me at the Hunter's Moon tomorrow night at eight and I'll show you what I have do be doing at the start of the weekend that is so much more _incredibly, urgently enjoyable_ ," Magnus replies, sweeping up his his coat off the desk from where Glasses has just placed it along with the rest of his accessories and swinging it over his shoulders. He ignores the "oohs" that come from the other Clave agents while gathering his weapons and jewelry and once again donning them in their respective places, deliberately doing his best to act coy and avoid eye contact with Blue Eyes as he does so, though he does allow himself a smirk. He can still see the agent's slightly stunned expression out of his peripheral vision, though.

Scooping up his cats last of all, Magnus carefully puts them both in an inner pocket of his coat and walks away without a second glance, allowing the ends of his coat to billow dramatically behind him and pretending to gesture the automatic doors open when he leaves. He smiles slightly as he exits the building, and he thinks he can hear Glasses whisper "I told you so" loudly to Blue Eyes before the doors shut behind him.

Taking a second to breathe in the cool night air of the city before he starts walking, Magnus allows himself to grin.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is, sorry. It was supposed to be about the cats but then it just... wasn't, really? Sorry, less cats than I had intended. But if I had continued this fic I can definitely promise that Magnus would have brought the cats with him specifically for Alec the next time he came back.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed whatever this was.


End file.
